Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Piece Of Closure

My ex texted me today. Apparently, he was bored. It's funny.. he called and texted me nonstop while he was in NC, then came home for two weeks..didn't hear a peep from him, and now that he's back in NC he decides to talk to me. What's up with that? Ugh, I don't even know.

Anyways, him and I actually had a very good talk today. Probably one of our best since the break up. During our conversation I asked him a quesiton that I had always been wondering and I finally got an answer to it. Now do I believe what his answer was? Not completely sure... its one of those situations where there's been so many shady things that I know longer know whether he is telling me the truth or if its just another lie. Truth or lie, it doesnt matter to me. I asked the question and it was something that I dont have to think about anymore. It was just one more step to closure.

I feel bad at times for Mister. Here is this amazing guy that I'm falling hard for and yet he has to deal with this ex crap. It makes me feel like a bad person at times. He knows all about it. He knows when I've talked to him and I tell him what we talk about. Before my ex even came home from Afghanistan, I told Mister I was scared and that part of me will always care for him since he was at one point my best friend. I feel like I can't not talk to my ex, because he's going to Afghanistan again soon and if something was to happen to him and I blew him off, I'd regret it for the rest of my life. I talk to him for closure, for answers that I never got. I know I never have to explain myself and try to make you all see my side and thats not what this last little part is about. It's just some more thoughts that have been floating around in my head. At time goes on, I hope I can really give my Marine my whole heart, he deserves it.


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