Sunday, February 28, 2010

A Good Day!

I've been in a very good mood today. Nothing spectacular has happened, I'm just real happy. My neck still hurts, but I'm heading to the doctor to get it checked out tomorrow again because the medicine is still not working. It does knock me out though so I've caught up on a lot of missed sleep. I'm actually waking up early nowadays instead of sleeping most the day away. It's a great change!

I did some shopping today online for the boy and I found some good deals online. My favorite deal were these polos from Buckle that were $17.00. I didn't realize something there could possibly go that low! I'm happy about my find :)
Off to do a little bit more shopping online. If I find anything good, I'll be sure to post :)

Saturday, February 27, 2010

My Day & Something Beautiful - Making Up

Today was an alright day. I didn't really have a "beautiful" moment until just a few minuets ago. I'm not sure that I was really trying today however. It was just one of those downer days where you just want to crawl in bed and sleep the day away.

The Marine and I just got off Skype a few minuets ago. Ever since he's been back from Thailand it has been very hard on me adjusting to our new "schedule". We've been fighting about everything and so I had this master plan that I was just going to try to net let it bug me. Well that failed obviously, because I think we all know that when you keep something to yourself it never ends up good. I should have known!

So we started fighting tonight and somehow we just ended up sitting there for probably ten minuets not saying anything to eachother. During those ten minuets, I prayed. I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to say something stupid and I needed God's guidance on how to handle the situation. After that I felt like I should ask him how he felt we got here (here, being the situation we were in). He told me. And he asked me the same thing. So I told him.

In the end, I didn't realize some of the things he was doing that were new and the fact that we hadn't talked about it, made me think he was basically ignoring me or not trying as hard as he usually does. Communication people! I tell ya, it's key! It's hard adjusting from something your so use to so I need to work on that among other things. We are good now though. I feel relieved.

This story leads me up to my beautiful moment: The feeling you get when you have just let everything off your chest and all is well again in the world - it's a great feeling!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Something Beautiful - Revisiting Pictures

So today I was looking at some pictures of the Marine that I had printed off. I was trying to figure out what ones I that I should frame and put up on the walls of my bedroom. While looking at them, I got that tingly excited sensation that made me tear up. Thinking about that boy and our future makes me so gosh darn happy! So my beautiful moment of the day: The feeling you get when you revisit pictures.

I want to do a collage on my wall. There is a spot thats quite bare and needs something. I figured pictures of him and I would be a perfect fix! I'll make sure to put the finished product up once its all done. Might have to give me a couple days though, I can't drive because of the medication I'm on. Boo.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Something Beautiful - Light Shining Through A Window Pane


While laying in bed today, absolutely miserable from the horrible neck pain that I'm in, I looked over to the window. With the window blinds partially closed and the room darkened, light was shining through the blinds lighting up my floor along with a chair the sits in the corner of my room. I just laid there watching the light come in; it was beautiful. Peaceful. Calming. While laying there I realized something: even when your in a dark room and nothing seems to be okay, God can find a way to brighten my day and make an ordinary thing beautiful!

Something New, Something Beautiful

I want to start doing something new. The title of my blog "Something Beautiful" was from a song that I was listening to one day. I figured not only could it relate to my relationship with Mister, but that it's something that can relate to every day things as well.

In life, there are many beautiful things. I feel that when things are rough, I close my eyes to everything beautiful and look for the worst. I dont want to live life like that, just skipping through not really living or taking in lifes beauties. So from now on, everyday I want to blog about something beautiful that I noticed and post a picture that captures what I saw and felt at that moment. I'll do my best to take the pictures myself, for I love photography, but you'll have to give me some slack for I wont always be able to take a picture of something (thank you flickr!). I'll list all of my "Something Beautiful - Moments" under my "Labels" section incase its hard to keep up with them. I hope you all enjoy this new segment of mine. Obviously I will continue to post about my Marine and I along with many other things. I'm really excited about this though and hope you all enjoy it!

Concussion And Neck Injury, Boooo!

I ended up going to the doctor last night because I was feeling worse then the night before. Right away he told me I had a concussion, but that he needed to take xrays because he thought my neck might be broken!! BROKEN NECK!? Not okay! He was telling the nurse to get out the neck brace and all. Six xrays later, he came back into the room and told me nothing was broken (Halleluah!) but that I definitely had a neck injury and needed medicine to help the pain. Now I'm all drugged up and hoping that soon all the pain will go away soon. Hopefully it won't take too long for that to happen...

Monday, February 22, 2010

I Love Our Troops!


I'm going to have to keep this post short and sweet, because I fell in the shower earlier tonight and not feeling so hot. Note to self: Don't slip in the shower, it will hurt. I probably should have gone to the doctor, but I don’t remember if I hit my head or not and this headache I’m feeling could be just because I have a bad back/neck. If my headache continues I’ll be going into the doctor. I promise.

Besides the fall, my main reason for this post is more so of a response to a blog that I came across (thank you for reminding me of this!). Before my ex, I never really cared all that much about the military. I wasn’t against it in anyway, just very neutral to its existence (not sure what is worse). When my ex came along, it opened my eyes to everything our troops have to go through: separation from loved ones, the many losses of brothers and sisters in uniform, PTSD, days without sleep and the horrible thought of not knowing if a “see you later” will turn into a “goodbye”.

With my new (now, year-long) found respect and pride, I wonder how many people are like how I was: clueless to what the men and women of our country go through to fight for our freedom. It makes me really sad, because I wish our troops received the respect they deserve. Nothing is ever free although “freedom” is definitely taken advantage of.

I’m proud to wear my dog tags around my neck every day. I love to share with everyone how proud I am of my Marine and his fellow jarheads. I’m proud to be a part of the “silent rank” and the look on peoples face when they see a girl in high heels, big sunglasses, and glossy lips that knows more about the military then they do. It brings the biggest smile to my face. My next patriotic plan: put up a yellow support banner on my car along with one day becoming an active volunteer with the USO. If I don’t think I have the strength to fight front lines, then I think the least I can do is support and lift the spirits of those that are.

Volunteer with the USO: Click Here!

3 Colum Update!

I don't expect anyone to notice this, but I'm just real excited about it so I thought I'd blog about it quick. I made a new update to the blog: 3 columns! This process should not have taken nearly as long as it took me. At least two hours for a ten minuet adjustment (if that). Way to go me! Always finding the hard way around things. I can't complain though because I learned a lot and now have the template saved on my computer so I'll be able to change it easily next time. There is still a bunch I want to add/change, but that is going to have to be another day. I have class tomorrow and am doing Meals On Wheels with my brother in the morning so I need to get some sleep.

Good night blog world :)

P.S. If anyone wants the template, let me know. I can send it your way!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Our Bucket List!


So Mister and I were bored one night and we were talking about all of the fun things we want to do. While talking about all of it, I was thinking about how we are never going to remember all of it. So to make sure it all gets completed we wrote all of the things (that we can think of so far) down and one by one, plan on crossing them off our list! Here's the list: (things will become crossed off once completed).

1. Rooftop dinner in Las Vegas
2. Rooftop dinner in New York
3. Go On A Fancy Dinner Date
4. Go To An Apple Orchard
5. Go Pumpkin Picking
6. Make A Scarecrow
7. Visit The Kelley Farm
8. Go To The Minnesota zoo
9. Take Pictures In A Photo Booth
10. Have A Bonfire On A Beach
11. Take Salsa Dancing Classes
12. Go To The Shooting Range
13. Go To Duluth, MN
14. Go To Stillwater, MN
15. Take A Helicopter Ride In New York
16. Take A Helicopter Ride In Las Vegas
17. Go Snorkeling
18. Go Sailing
19. Learn How To Surf
20. Rent A Jet Ski For A Day
21. Go Paintballing
22. Go To Disney World –Watch The Fireworks.
23. Backpack Trip In Europe.
24. Go Camping
25. Go To A Winery.
26. Go To A Drive In Movie
27. Go Winter Tubing
28. Go Ice Fishing
29. Rent A Log Cabin For At Least A Weekend
30. Play Music Around A Campfire (Guitar/Singing)
31. Visit The Honymoons Bluff
32. Go On A Picnic With A Red And White Checkered Blanket
33. Go To A Wild, Twins, And Vikings Game.
34. Make A Facebook Profile Together
35. Attend The Renaissance Festival
36. Go To A Chiodos Concert
37. Go Camping In The Boundary Waters
38. Go to Canada
39. Go Camping In The Backyard
40. Go To An Aquarium
41. Have A Movie/Dinner Date
42. Go To A Theater/Show
43. Go To An Arcade
44. Play Laser Tag
45. Toilet Paper Someones House While Wearing Black (Nicole) and Cammies (Kyle)
46. Go To The State Fair
47. See A Blue Angels Air Show
48. Go To A Monster Truck Show
49. Go To A Drag Race Show
50. Bring Nicole To Her First Concert
51. Have A Couples Massage
52. Go Bowling
53. Star Gaze
54. Write A Song Together
55. Go Whitewater Rafting
56. Go Minnature Golfing
57. Go To The Airport And Buy A Plane Ticket To The Next Flight Leaving, Then Take Off!
58. Take A Road Trip To No Where
59. Go Play BINGO
60. Watch A Sunset
61. Watch A Sunrise
62. Go On A Dog Sled Ride
63. Make A Snowman
64. Go On A Carriage Ride
65. Fly A Kite
66. Places To Visit: Ireland, Australia, New York, California, Florida, Italy, Amsterdam.
67. Get Married
68. Buy Our First Home
69. Buy A Pet
70. Get A Dog

Back To Normal

Things are starting to get back to how they were pre-deployment. I think him being away had taken a lot out of us for a while. No one who hasn't been through a deployment will ever understand. From the very start of this blog, it has always been about my feelings and the truth about the things that I'm going through in my life. I'm not going to write and act like a military relationship is easy, because it is nowhere near that. I like to think that over time, more followers and readers that are not in military relationships will come along, and hopefully they’ll be able to see the truth and reality of a military relationship. I’ve always been a “real” type of person, I’m not about to change that.

As far as the last couple of days go, like I said, things are going back to normal. Last night Mister finally got his Valentine’s Day packages that I sent him. First he opened his “naughty and sweet” package and LOVED it. He was so cute opening it. Like a little boy on Christmas morning. It was pretty funny though, because the guys in his shop saw the words “Naughty and Sweet” on the box and tried to open it. They pretty much ripped the box apart! There were holes all over it. Crazy Marines! Haha. Next, I opened my gift. He got me the most beautiful diamond heart necklace. Not only was it my first Valentine gift, but also my first diamond from a boy. So happy I get to experience both with him. I’m such a lucky girl! Next he opened his Christmas package that had his scrapbook in it. When he opened it, I think he wasn’t sure how to really react. He told me he loved it and I could tell he does. Glad that he finally got it though and I don’t have to worry about him opening it. Phew!
I have lots of homework I want to get a head start on. Off to Caribou Coffee to study!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Last Few Days

I've come to this conclusion: one of the worst things about making up while in a long distance relationship is that after much fighting there's no kissing or holding each other when it's all over. Replacing the make-up that most couples have is the awkward feeling and the hope that everything is okay. I hate that part so much. After some things that happened recently things still feel a little awkward between us, but I'm trying my best to push the awkwardness to the back of my head and know that soon we’ll be back to how we were pre-deployment. I hope that he can see where I was coming from, but I’m not quite sure that he does. I’m glad it happened though, because it made me realize a lot about deployments and how easy I have it. I have to be stronger for him and know that he’ll write when he can.

As of yesterday… deployment is over!! Thank God!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Broken

I'm completely broken. My eyes are swollen from crying. I feel as though I'm going to puke. I don't know what happened. I don't know why he's not being himself. I miss the old him. Everyone says we'll get through this, but all I feel and know is numbness. I ask myself if I'm overreacting although everyone says I'm not. At first I think maybe I am, but when I look at the facts I know i'm not. God help me...

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine's Day

Ugh, I hate today. I've never had a good one. Not that today is really a bad one, its just another day in my eyes. I wish I could spend it with him. One day him and I will get to have our "first" Valentine's Day with each other. It will be perfect! His present for me is still in my moms room. I can't open it until he gets back to Japan and gets his presents. I think I should have never came up with that rule... I want it now haha. Its hard knowing its in my house and I cant just go open it. Sooo tempted, but I wont. I want it to be a surprise!
I went and saw "Dear John" again today. This time I went with my mom. She hadn't seen it and really wanted to after how much I talked about it. She really liked it and thought it was sad. Once the movie was over she gave me a big hug. I think she realized a little bit about how hard a military relationship can be - not that she will ever fully understand though, but she tries and that means so much to me! Very much appreciated.

I know I'm probably being real stupid, but I really miss hearing from my Marine. Last night when we talked, it was only for a few minuets. Granted, I will take those few minuets over nothing, but I just wasn't ready to say good night. He, however, seemed perfectly ready. Not that he was tired or anything, he just kept pushing the fact that he should go and I should sleep. He hasn't done that to me before and quite frankly I really didn't like it. haha. I just wanted to fall asleep on Skype or at least have one of our pre-deployment nights where we'd just stare at eachother for hours. I want that back. I'm sure with four other guys in the room, he feels like he has to be macho and all. I really just can't wait for him to be back in Japan. Hopefully, it will all go back to normal. God, I can't wait...

Finally Heard From Him!

So after two days, I finally hear from my mister! I was so beyond excited that I broke down in tears for a good five minuets. I just couldn't stop crying. Apparently his Sgt had arrived and kept having them go places and do certain things and they just didn't have any access to a computer. I was getting real down and worried for a while there. He is so amazing about contacting me that after a day without hearing from him, I knew something was up. I'm quite the lucky girl that his communication is as good as it is. I know I have it VERY lucky!! :)

I'm so goo goo ga ga for him. Honestly, I've never felt a love like this before. Cant wait to spend the rest of my life with him! By the way, look at the new ring I found!! I can't help but be in awe of it!! :)


Is it gorgeous or what?!?!?! ahh! :)

Friday, February 12, 2010

Lonely

I'm feeling so lonely tonight. Just one of those nights when I'm really craving for him. I hate being so far away. It was so nice while he was on leave and home. All I had to do was call him in the morning and zoom on over to his house and be greated with a big hug and kiss, meanwhile he's still in his sweatpants and tshirt with his hair all messy. I love that messy morning hair of his. I'm glad I'm stuck with it :)

I just wish he would callll me. No morning messages today. I just got home from work a little bit ago and still nothing. WHERE IS HE!!!??? Grrr. I really hope he calls me tonight... I need him to...

It's funny, I hear girls say all the time about how they miss their man and its been what, a day, maybe two. At the tops it's usually a week. Boo freaking hoo. Try months. Try a year. I often wonder how my friends relationships would be if they were in my situation. I would NEVER hope for one to go badly, I ALWAYS want the very best for my friends, but some people are made for long distance and others aren't. When I hear people about that miss their man or girl because its been a few days, I try my hardest not to get upset or hurt and I REALLY try hard not to roll my eyes haha. Him and I chose this. We weren't forced into the relationship. So for me to be upset that they are sad they haven't seen him/her in a couple days, almost seems hypocritical.

I almost feel like I've been prepared for this my whole life. Every relationship I've been in has been long distance, except for one. Granted they weren't on the other side of the world, but I still didn't get to seem them every day or every week. Just proof that God has a plan! :)

Well I need to do homework. I have two tests that I really need to study for so that I do good. Good night all.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

"The Bump Isn't Squishy!"

So for the last week I have been doing P90X everyday, except today because of a migrain I had... I hate those! It's been going pretty good. I've come to realize I feel better about myself after I work out. Every time that cd kicks my butt, I know I'm one step closer to a healthier me. I actually have a forming bump when I flex my arms! It's small... barely existent, but its there! Best part of it all, its not squishy!

I've been trying hard to block off all the stupid little weight comments from everyone. Not sure if I'm succeeding or not. I guess we'll find out once someone says something to me. I give it a day or two, sadly enough. I'm sure my heart will drop like it usually does. Stupid people. Stupid me for not speaking up.

As I have been working out, I think I'm slowly realizing how this could really be a life changing thing for me. It helps me relieve stress or when I'm mad, I quick pop in my P90X cd of the day and take out my anger on the air. Once I get into better shape, I was thinking about taking boxing classes. I have a fear of guys (save that for another day) and think not only would it keep me in shape, but help me protect myself if need to be. That is of course if my taser or pepper spray in my purse don't do the trick... :)

Guess who I got to talk to today! My Babers! By far happiest and best moment of my day. He is no longer training, but is not back in Japan either. Apparently there wasn't enough seats available for the date they were originally suppose to go back on, so he and about 60 other guys volunteered to go back early. Apparently they earliest flight they can get is on the 15th so for the time being, they're staying in a 5 star hotel... must be rough eh? He deserves it though, they all do. After working 20 days the past few weeks, I think they deserve a lot more!

Well I am off to bed. I am so beyond exhausted and have to wake up early tomorrow for work. Blah.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Dear John

I saw "Dear John" last night with my friend Anita. LOVED it! I bawled my eyes out, like I figured I would. It's a good thing that she came prepared with tissues, because I completely forgot to. During the movie, at the part when they say goodbye at the airport, I completely broke down. I turned my head over and began to weep. It felt as though I was saying goodbye to my love all over again. In an odd way, it felt good to cry. Got some emotions out. After the movie was done, I was emotionally drained though. Shortly after I got home, I fell asleep as if I had been up for hours. I was exhausted.

I really wish Mister would watch it with me sometime, but he refuses. He figured a certain part in the movie would happen and because of it, he doesnt want to see it. It's something that he's VERY afraid of since its something he's dealt with in the past which makes his decision completely understandable. I'm still buying it though haha. It'll just be my movie for when I need a good cry! :)

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Valentine's Day Gift

I just wanted to blog quick about my Valentine’s Day gift to my Marine. Finding the perfect gift is something that I think everyone stresses about a little bit; at least I know I do! For the longest time I couldn’t think about what to get him. The boy is a Marine and before I came along, money was something he just spent on whatever he wanted. He has EVERYTHING. So to find something that he didn’t have was quite hard. Slowly I figured out something and came up with a great concept that I think is exciting and wanted to share!

I am sending him two flat rate boxes. The scrapbook that I’ve been working on will be in one of them along with four shirts that I got from my work. I got the best deal ever on them! He doesn’t need to know that though hehe :) The scrapbook will have a big red bow tied around it, with a little card attached to it In the other box are my main Valentine things. I came up with the concept, “Naughty and Sweet” based off the usual saying, “Naughty and Nice.”

The naughty part of the Naughty and Sweet package is: a lingerie corset top with a matching thong (both will be sprayed with my perfume and a note that says “bring this along when you come home”, naughty dices, naughty scratch offs, and redeemable coupons ranging from a home cooked meal to a bubble bath!

The sweet part of the Naughty and Sweet package is: some of his favorite treats including Nutty Bars, Peanut Butter Twixt Candy Bars, and Mrs. Fields Cookies. I also am baking him brownies that I’m going to press and seal so they’re fresh when they get there. I got him a couple single boxes of Sweet Tart’s heart candies with the little sayings on them.

Just thought I would share! :) I’m going to upload some pictures of the scrapbook to show you how it turned eventually. Talk to you all soon!

Empty Feeling

Do you ever find yourself doing something and knowing deep down that it's going to make you real sad, but you do it anyway? Moments later, that empty feeling stirs about in your stomach and you wonder why in the world why you just put yourself in that situation. I know that feeling all too well and even though I tell myself no, I always go back. Not sure why I do, but a part of me just can't help it. Maybe I'm waiting for the time when it won't hurt anymore, where I can just be content. I absolutely HATE the fact that I still hurt from the situation. I want to be free.
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