Saturday, September 25, 2010

So Long Fears, Hello Peace of Mind

For the longest time I have expressed my fear of what is going to happen when Mister's contract with the Marine's is up. It's been scary for me to know that he wants to go into a field that is extremely difficult and has no safety net.

Last night, Mister and I somehow brought up the conversation of what he's doing when he gets out. To my surprise, he does have a back up plan. This makes me so happy. I don't know why I've been so worried to bring it up. I guess I was worried by expressing my fears, that he would be worried to chase his dreams. I want him to chase them. I want to be apart of them. I just wanted to know that he had a back up planincase his first dream didn't work out - and he does!

I was also surprised to know that Mister actually does like the Marines. He's never said that before. Infact, he likes being a Marine a lot. What he has troubles with is knowing he has to follow orders from someone, when he can come up with a solution in his head that would be much less time consuming and would end in a better job-well-done. One of my fears was the thought of him going to Afghanistan doing something he absolutely hates and something happening to him. I'm not sure how I would cope with that. We all hear stories of families who say that they are so proud of their loved one because they know at least they loved what they did. At least now I know that I would be able to say that - God forbid something ever happened. Ugh, can't even think about that.

In more news, Mister and I talked about having a little bundle of joy. I wanted to know when he thought he'd like to have a baby. I know how important it is for Mister to become a daddy one day. They day our little boy or girl is born will be the best day of his life. I know it may sound early to think about having kids, but we're getting married in the next couple years so I think its important.

He said if we had a baby now, he'd be more than happy. This kind of took me by surprise. A baby now? Say what?! Then I realized what he was talking about. We're not going to plan to have a baby until we're married, but if it happened right now, its not something either of us would be upset about. My Marine has made me realize how amazing it is to build a family together. Before, having kids was something that I never thought I'd want. Now, its one of the things I look forward to the most. I can't wait to see Mister be a father. He is seriously going to be the most amazing daddy!!

One thing he doesn't want, is to be deployed and miss out on everything. We were talking about this when he sent me this:
"If I'm deploying, I wouldn't want to have one on the way. I don't want to miss any of it. And if I was gone when you had the baby, I would hate myself. I want to be the first one to hold my baby."
I don't think anyone plans on carrying a baby while their loved one is away. It's definitely not something o my "wish list", but would be one proud Marine momma to be!

I can't say it enough: gosh, he's going to be an amazing father!! :)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Craziest Thing You've Ever Heard!!!!

I'm finding it really difficult to stay motivated these days when it comes to school. I don't know how much more I'm going to be able to handle. My grade is horrible in my accounting class and I know its just going to get worse. We're in the stage where he said people are going to start, "dropping like flies". I think his way of talking puts doom in our eyes. He keeps saying that his class is something that you have to put a lot of time and effort into and right now I simply don't have the amount of time. I'm exhausted and its only month one of school. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this...

I found out that I need surgery in the next couple of weeks. My sinus problem is a lot worse then we thought and the doctor wants to shrink the pollup that has completely plugged a channel in my upper sinus cavity. The pollup is not allowing my sinuses to drain properly and he's worried about the pressure it could be producing. Eventually if it gets bad enough, it could be causing pressure on my brain. Not okay.

One of the ways they were thinking of operating was to cut from the very top of my head and down both sides so that they could basically flap where the skin of my forehead is down to my mouth so that they can have a more safe approach to removing the pollup. Is that not the craziest thing you've ever heard!?!? THANKFULLY, we're not going that route. Not yet at least. Like I said, they are going to try to shrink it first and are hoping that by doing that, I'll be able to drain. So they're going to take a cord and run it through my nose and then place a stint that will release steroids by my pollup and *fingers crossed* shrink it. They said its serious, because they'll be working near by brain, but that if I don't do it now - my problems are just going to get worse.

I'm still stuck on the part where they can flap your whole face over. Freakin crazy!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Moment I KNEW + Something Beautiful

As you may remember, my last Sunday Stories was two weeks ago. I wasn't able to get the time to make up for missing last week. So here I am again, picking up from where I left off..

Two weeks ago I told you how Mister and I spent the two years while we had lost touch. Its an important part to the following story, so make sure you read up on it quick - it won't take long :)

This week, it's all about how we started talking again...

One day I was bored and browsing Facebook *shocker*. I had noticed that in my news feeds there was a picture of a guy that I hadn't talked to in a long time. I thought I would click on his profile and take another look at his pictures. So I did.. and oh boy did they remind me of how handsome this guy was (this guy being Mister if you aren't catching on..,). I decided to write him a quick message simply saying:
"August 23, 2009 at 7:19pm
hey how are you? im not all sure if you remember me, but we use to talk a little bit on here a while back. I just saw your pic come up on my fb and thought i'd see how you've been..."
It wasn't long after that he responded with:
"August 23, 2009 at 9:49pm

hey of course i remember!! ive been pretty good... just living the military life. how have you been"
It was the beginning of a conversation that led to more than I could have ever imagined. We began writing to each other constantly and it didn't take long for him to get my number. While texting, he said something to me that made me realize that he was someone special. Someone that I needed in my life and who was different than the rest. Without knowing my faith background he told me this:

"You should know that God is my everything. He's my life. I've drifted away from God a little bit while being stationed here in Japan, but am working on His and my relationship."
I can still remember reading that text. I was at work and my eyes had filled up with tears. I felt warmth inside and knew something great was about to happen. I thought back to the moment when the guy I dated before Mister had told had told me that he was going to be praying that I'd meet the right guy. I didn't realize it would take him only a few days, but I'm so happy that God answered his prayers :) 
You'll have to wait for next week to learn more about our story!

Now it's time for Something Beautiful - Moments!

I just learned earlier tonight that my brother was finally offered a fulltime job!!! I'm so happy for him! He has been working part time since he's moved to Oklahoma and desperately is needing more of an income. The only problem is he isn't sure that he'll be taking it. He has very bad back problems and the job does include some heavy lifting. PLEASE KEEP HIM IN YOUR PRAYERS FOR GUIDANCE ON WHAT TO DO!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Calculating Time

I was just looking into flights to go see how much I should expect to pay when I visit Mister in early January and I had a major eye opener. At the MOST I'm looking at about $500 for the flight alone (found a few as low as $315), plus I'm going to need money while I'm there. I just don't know how I'm going to save that much.

So being the planner I am, I calculated it...

I have about 19 paychecks until I'd leave... that's +/- $2850. I also have 8 car payments totaling $824, plus I need to buy a bridesmaid gown which I'm expecting to be (at the most) $250. I usually spend $30 on gas every other week (another $285). I'll give myself a $200 leeway which would bring me to a total of $1291. Thankfully, I already have $375 in the bank so that helps and when I was calculating my paycheck I used the lowest amount of hours that I could ever get.

Grand Total: +/- $1666

Looks like my Christmas presents will be cheap and I will have no life for the next three months. 
That's okay though, it'll be worth it :) 

Friday, September 17, 2010

Ms. Positive Today

Today is going to be a good day! I feel it - at least trying to!

You know when you wake up in the morning smiling at life. Well, I can't say that was me. I woke up instead to a message on Facebook that made me a little irritated. But that's okay. Not going to let it ruin my day.

Mister and I didn't have the greatest morning talk. Infact it was a complete downer. Not to mention that he doesnt have a phone because his broke. But that's okay. We're making the best of it and writing facebook messages to each other when we have the chance.

You're worth the wait babe.
I worked out a little bit this morning. It made me feel good about myself. I miss working out so much. It's hard wanting to, but knowing your body just doesn't want to cooperate. My neck was hurting a little bit afterward. But that's okay. I stretched and took a shower which helped to relax it.

 I seriously LOVE this!
Then I talked to my friend whose wedding I'm going to be in. We were suppose to go shopping for bridesmaid dresses, but her maid of honor couldn't make it so we're going to pick another time. But that's okay. I don't have the gas money to drive far anyways.

I sat down about an hour ago to work on my accounting. After reading my chapter again and really concentrating on the example problems, I'm starting to understand it more. I still have a lot of work to do though. But that's okay. It's a start!

Who doesn't?
Just a little bit ago I talked to my USMC gal (whom I can now call a real friend.. and love it!) and we decided that we need a girls night. So she is coming over to my house and we're going to chit chat and watch a movie. I'm so excited for this! I don't really have the money to go and buy snacks, but that's okay, I'm doing it anyways. I just want us girls to have some popcorn and some candy options. :) I might even go as far as making some of these:


Today is going to be okay, I just know it!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

From a Different World

I'm so stressed with my accounting and microeconomics class. Seriously - they suck. I'm in the chapter of my accounting book where apparently you either get it or you don't and its where people start dropping out. I can't be one of those people, but right now I'm having troubles seeing past the next couple weeks. My microeconomics class just simply sucks. I haven't done well from the start of it and this chapter is just stupid. I'm going to need a miracle in order to keep my GPA up this semester...

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Soldiers and Jesus

I just heard this song the other day and thought I would share.
I hope you like it as much as I do :)

"Soldiers and Jesus" by James Otto

Sunday, September 12, 2010

I'm All Ears

I'm going to skip Sunday Stories tonight. I'll post it late (as in tomorrow) for you all to read. There are just some random things that are on my heart right now and I wanted to be able to just write.

1. Almost a year ago, one of my good friends lost  his mom. It's her birthday today and he's having a hard time. He was going to stop over at my work to say hi today, but just wanted some time to himself and reflect. Completely understandable. At times I just don't know what to say to make him feel better. I'm not sure there is anything really to say. So I simply told him that I was all ears. I may not be able to relate, but I'm a good listener. Any advice/thoughts?

2. I hate my phone sometimes. I was at work and Mister received a text from me that I had sent to him yesterday. Of course, it was one of those messages where we were talking about "fun time" and so when he received it today out of know where he was really confused. After a few minutes of trying to figure out what the heck he was talking about and then explaining the text to him, things were back to being ok. Just annoying.

3. My favorite girls and I went down town last night. It was a really good time! We all got together for my birthday to do a little celebrating. The night included shopping and dinner - can't go wrong there! Long story short, the night was a great success.

4. My manager brought up somthing today that made me do some thinking. She asked if I still talk to my ex-fiance. I told her no. I actually stopped talking to him when Mister and I were a couple months into our relationship. I needed to give Mister a full chance and having my ex talk to me was just something that wouldn't give him that full chance. So, I cut the cord. What got me thinking was how emotionally abusive he was to me. I knew he had a control over me, but I guess I never really opened my eyes to it all and really took it for what it was. When a man is being friendly one moment and then out of no where freaks out, swears, and hangs up on you - obviously there is something wrong with him. Why is it that its so easy to be blind when your in the situation and then things become clearer later on? I should have listened to my friends when they said to cut him out of my life sooner. I should have listened to them when they said he was being controlling. I should have listened to them when they said what he was doing was wrong. Note to all women out there: we all want to be that girl that changes that one guy, but know, you can't change a man!!!

5. I started the Ortho Patch today. I figured it might be a better option for me since I'm horrible about remembering to take a single pill everyday at the same time. I had no idea where to put it so its smack middle on one of my butt cheeks. We'll see if I like it and if it will even stay on. I've been paranoid all day and already have filled my coworkers in on the fact that if I am touching my butt cheek a lot to not worry about me. They think I'm an odd one as it is so they just laughed it off. I'm glad they are able to do so :)

6. There is a radio show that does Military Night every wednesday. I drive home from class on wednesday nights so I get to tune in every time. I love it!! I am usually in tears on my way home, but thats ok. It melts my heart hearing peoples shout-outs to their loved ones over seas and to hear a safe troop from overseas telling their family members how much they love them. I wish every radio station did this. I don't understand why more don't. Click here on Wednesday nights at 7pm central time to tune in :) Once your at the website, click on Listen Now!!
Exhaustion is setting in. Long day at work, even a longer day tomorrow. Good night bloggy land and sorry my life hasn't been very interesting lately. I will work on that!

Ya, I got me a keeper!

Always nice waking up to a wonderful message from the boy... makes my heart melt
Hey baby girl! Im about to head to bed i just wanted to send you a quick message. i love you so much! you are my everything!!! your my best friend i know that i can come to you with anything and even if you dont like it you will still support me! i can honestly say i could never see myself without you! we are going to grow old together and spend the rest of our lives together!! I cant wait for the day that i can come back and hold you again. to see you come running to me when you pick me up at the air port. picking you up and kissing you!well i better head to sleep i got an early day tomorrow! I hope you are dreaming of me so that i can see you in dreams i love you and i miss you more than words can explain good night pooky...

Your Kookie

Friday, September 10, 2010

Birthday Girl & Goodbye's

Yesterday was my birthday! Another year older.
Everyone kept asking how it felt - I've have one word : old!

I spent the first half of my day going to class and doing homework (it had to get done - even if it meant doing it on my bday!) and the other half with my family eating yummy food and watching the game. I was super bummed that the Vikings lost. I was hoping that they would win, but it just wasn't their day. Boo!

Thankfully I was able to talk to Mister last night before I went to bed. He got off work an hour later than he thought he was going to, but that hour was worth waiting for :) We weren't able to talk long though because he went to see his unit off. They shipped off to a place I'm not able to talk about. It was sad for my Marine to see them leave with out him - more so because he wasn't sure if he'd see his buddies again. More than likely they won't be back by the time he leaves for the States. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they stay on schedule so that he'll be able to see them again. I know it would mean a lot to Mister.

For more happy news, Mister gets the weekend off! He wasn't suppose to but they gave it to him. This made me a very happy girl. Looking forward to Skyping with my man again tonight. Two days in a week and there back to back - I feel like a very spoiled girl :)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Thanks Marines...

Things with Mister's and my schedule have really been changing.

My Marine is no longer part of his unit in Japan since he's leaving soon (yippee!!) and now instead he just does chow duty... ALL DAY LONG! He does it three hours in the morning... then sits there in the chow hall after he's done... does three hours during lunch time... again sits there in the chow hall after he's done... and another three hours during the evening... where he again sits in the chow hall until pretty much everyone is off work. Seems like a boring way to spend your day right? It just confuses me, doesn't the Marines have something more... useful for him to do? Apparently not. To add sprinkles to the cake, they only have let him leave the chow hall twice now (in the last two weeks) which means I probably wont see Mister for my birthday. They are also making him work every other weekend, which means bye bye Skype time. Again, thanks Marines! Apparently, they still haven't received the word that the weekends are the only time we get to Skype. I really cannot complain though. My man is not in a war zone. I have access to talk to him through texting when he's not busy. I get to see him in less than 75 days. So again, I can't complain.

Work and school are still filling up most of my days. Yesterday was the first slow day at work and for the first time since I can remember, I was actually thankful for it. I was making myself sick for the lack of sleep - literally - running nose, fever, and upset tummy that made me looking for all exit stratgies, just incase my dinner decided to make an unwelcome appearance in a trash can. Too much info? I'm sorry.

I may or may not have got a new employee in trouble. My dream last night said I did, but I guess I'll wait to see when I go into work next. He had the NERVE to ask if I would ever cheat on Mister. Are you kidding me?! He straight up was like, "You have a boyfriend right?" Yeah.... "Would you ever cheat on him?" WHAT!? I took it as him just questioning my character, but the managers are taking it as him basically wanting to know if I would cheat on Mister with him. Either way, it pissed me off. Obviously I told him I would never ever do that, Mister is all that I need in a man. He is the best thing to come into my life. Besides, after you've been hurt by cheating and what not - you realize that you would never want someone to go through what you have.  It just makes me mad that he would think that's even an OK question to ask me. A. Your new to my work, don't act like you know me. B. That's rude. C. I'm much higher up than you and what you asked doesn't look good on your part - especially when managers are already questioning your ability.

Ugh stupid.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Sunday Stories + Something Beautiful

If you've never heard of Sunday Stories, make sure you check out The Annoyed Army Wife's blog. She is awesome :)

If you are new to my blog, check out how my previous story ... it will help you with this weeks!

So as you may remember, I ended last weeks story letting you all know how Mister and I were introduced... and how we stopped talking. For the two and a half years that we lost touch, I dated a lot, experienced a lot of heart break, and learned a ton about what I liked and disliked in a man.

One of the guys I fell in love with ended up proposing to me. It lasted a few months and then he fell out of love with me and in love with another women. It broke my heart in about a million peices. I went through a time in my life where I wasn't me.  I did a lot of stupid things and looked to other guys to help fix the missing parts in my heart.

One day I confinded in a friend who was currently over in Iraq. We grow really close to each other since he was experiencing a similar situation and we ended up helping each other out. He seemed to be like someone special and our friendship turned into something more. During his R&R leave from Iraq, we spent every waking moment together. A few days before he left back to Iraq, he changed his mind and realized he was still crazy about a girl that just became single. Needless to say, whatever we were was over. He told me I was a great girl and that he prayed that I would find a great guy.  I was appreciative for his prayers and realized that him and I really weren't right for each other.

Meanwhile... during all this time of me living life, Mister was having hard times with girls... it seemed like every girl he fell for, they would change their mind and break his heart. He was looking for a good girl but came to the conclusion that since he was overseas and based in Japan that he probably wasn't going to find a girl until he was either out of the service or back in the states.

With a simple post on Facebook, both of our lives changed.... stay tuned for next week to see what it was!

It's now time for Something Beautiful:

This past week has been crazy to say the least. School has been my main focus, but its been hard trying to balance everything since work is giving me more hours than ever before. Yesterday alone, my work did almost $36,000. It was busy to say the least.  I can't complain though. I'm lucky to be able to go to school and recieve an education and in the economy that we are in at the moment, I'm lucky to have a job at all.

Just a couple of weeks ago, my neighbors, who I've known for as along as I can remember, lost their home. Bills were becoming too much and the man of the house lost his job due to a back injury. It's sad to think how one moment you have everything and the next moment, everything you know is stripped away.  I can't say it's been easy for my family either. We've had to cut down on a lot of things, my dad is working more hours than ever, and I've been helping out more expenses.

Beautiful Moment of the Week: Being able to help my family in hard times, receiving an education, and having a job that continues to give me hours.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Southern Sweet Tea (First Recipe!)

Mister had told me a little bit ago that he LOVES sweet tea and one thing he would be super excited about is if I knew how to make it. Sure enough, I do! No need to go to Sonic or McDonalds - make it at home :)

Southern Sweet Tea

What you'll need:

3 cups water
2 family-sized tea bags
1/2 - 1 cup sugar (if you like your tea really sweet - add the full 1 cup.
7 cups cold water
2 slices lemon (optional)

What you do:

1. Bring three cups of water to a boil in a saucepan, add tea bags. Boil the tea bags for 1 minute and then remove from heat. Cover saucepan and steep for 10 minutes.
2. Remove and discard the tea bags. Add the desired amount of sugar and stir until dissolved.
3. Pour tea into a 1 gallon container and add 7 cups cold water.
4. If you want lemon, place inside container.
5. Serve over ice!

Total time: 20 minutes
Makes: 2 1/5 QT
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