Saturday, September 25, 2010

So Long Fears, Hello Peace of Mind

For the longest time I have expressed my fear of what is going to happen when Mister's contract with the Marine's is up. It's been scary for me to know that he wants to go into a field that is extremely difficult and has no safety net.

Last night, Mister and I somehow brought up the conversation of what he's doing when he gets out. To my surprise, he does have a back up plan. This makes me so happy. I don't know why I've been so worried to bring it up. I guess I was worried by expressing my fears, that he would be worried to chase his dreams. I want him to chase them. I want to be apart of them. I just wanted to know that he had a back up planincase his first dream didn't work out - and he does!

I was also surprised to know that Mister actually does like the Marines. He's never said that before. Infact, he likes being a Marine a lot. What he has troubles with is knowing he has to follow orders from someone, when he can come up with a solution in his head that would be much less time consuming and would end in a better job-well-done. One of my fears was the thought of him going to Afghanistan doing something he absolutely hates and something happening to him. I'm not sure how I would cope with that. We all hear stories of families who say that they are so proud of their loved one because they know at least they loved what they did. At least now I know that I would be able to say that - God forbid something ever happened. Ugh, can't even think about that.

In more news, Mister and I talked about having a little bundle of joy. I wanted to know when he thought he'd like to have a baby. I know how important it is for Mister to become a daddy one day. They day our little boy or girl is born will be the best day of his life. I know it may sound early to think about having kids, but we're getting married in the next couple years so I think its important.

He said if we had a baby now, he'd be more than happy. This kind of took me by surprise. A baby now? Say what?! Then I realized what he was talking about. We're not going to plan to have a baby until we're married, but if it happened right now, its not something either of us would be upset about. My Marine has made me realize how amazing it is to build a family together. Before, having kids was something that I never thought I'd want. Now, its one of the things I look forward to the most. I can't wait to see Mister be a father. He is seriously going to be the most amazing daddy!!

One thing he doesn't want, is to be deployed and miss out on everything. We were talking about this when he sent me this:
"If I'm deploying, I wouldn't want to have one on the way. I don't want to miss any of it. And if I was gone when you had the baby, I would hate myself. I want to be the first one to hold my baby."
I don't think anyone plans on carrying a baby while their loved one is away. It's definitely not something o my "wish list", but would be one proud Marine momma to be!

I can't say it enough: gosh, he's going to be an amazing father!! :)


Allie said...

I remember the first time Ryan and I talked about children, before we were married. We were surprisingly on the very same page! And we still are! It is an important one to have and it always feels good when you do.

We always wanted to be married for a few years before children entered the picture, but he said "If one happens unplanned it would be welcomed and loved. I'd be here and help and take care of both of you always. Never doubt that."

*insert heart melting here*


Anonymous said...

It's always great to think ahead and imagine how things would be. I always did that before me and my husband got married. I'm glad he has a back up plan for when he gets out of the military and don't think about deployment now if he's not leaving yet. Be happy he's still safe! =)

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