Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Something Always Comes Up

Things have been going great, but of course things can only be so great for so long. With my two year degree coming to a finish this coming summer, it's time to start looking for colleges so I can get my Bachelors. I kind of just expected Mister to be going to a certain school in the cities, but last night he told me he was thinking of going to school in Iowa or Montana. Say what?! I was completely shocked. I'm not sure what he was thinking because obviously I'm not going to go to school there since I don't live in either of those states. By the time he is out of the service I will have a year of schooling left. That is if I'm on schedule. Once Mister realized this he said the unforgetable words that are engraved in my mind... "Maybe we shouldn't be getting married. Maybe we should wait a few more years."

Those two sentences were a bomb used in my heart. His thing is that we have gone over a year doing long distance and have over a year left of it. The thought of not having to be long distance when he is out of the service is what has been getting him through things. Not knowing where either of us will be and having to spend two years of our marriage apart isn't what either of us wants. I explained to him that he needs to look into schools now, I will start looking into schools and then we'll discuss it and make a decision that both of us are happy with that way we can hopefully get an apartment with each other once he's no longer active duty.

Before I wasn't sure what was going to happen with certain things in my life, but it's been a long time since I've had to wonder what's going to happen with Mister and I. Things were really starting to fall into place and now everything seems to back up in the air again. Until we figure out what schools we're going to, things will continue to be uncertain. One thing I know: I don't want to move out of state. Once I am finished with college, I will have made contacts with companies around here, not in Iowa or Montana. Contacts for me are going to be everything because I'm planning on being a freelancer. It's also important to me that he doesn't settle either and his response was that either way he will be. If he doesnt go to Iowa or Montana, he'll be settling. If he does go and we're long distance, he's settling. That makes me feel horrible. I hope that we both can come to an agreement. Right now he's just as worried and just as disheartend. We'll figure it out though - life is full of twists and turns - just have to learn to get through them.

6 comments:

Angie said...

Girl, the only thing I can say is, suck it up and go with your man to Iowa or Montana. If he's truly the one you love and want to be with, make the sacrifice. True love is worth it.

kelsey lauren said...

that's so frustrating! i feel your pain. long distance is hell. i'm sort of going through a similar thing... that being in a year and a half i'll be graduated and need to figure out what i'm doing with my life. Caleb will still be in the air force. I have an opportunity to go to dubai for three years and start working for emirates airlines... but that means another 3 years of long distance. that being said, he wants to wait until his contract with the air force is up to decide what HE wants to do. i'm torn whether i should wait on his decision and risk losing my opportunity, but also perhaps move down with him.... or if i should go on and risk our relationship by deciding to live in dubai for 3 years.
anyways... i know this post isn't supposed to be about me, but i wanted to let you know i can sympathize because when you're long distance and nothing is certain, it's stressful and scary. i get it.

A Marine's Babe said...

Congrats on the degree. I'm in your same boat :)

You two will work it out. Its not where you go to school that most important its that you are together. An education is the same just about anywhere. Good luck!

Jessica @ {Mis}Adventures of an Army Wife said...

*hugs* Y'all are strong, smart people! I've always been a believer that if you want it enough, you can always make things work out!

Kaylee said...

Oh I am so sorry my dear! I hope it all works out for the best, you two will think of something that makes you both happy!

Mikey Mike said...

From a Marine's perspective:

I say that you're already established where you are and you've got a pretty clearly defined path with exceptional rationale. Before my split with my significant other a couple of weeks ago, we had a plan set in place. She had been working on getting a job to be closer to her family and I would go to school at whatever university was available in the city she was able to find a job in.

The reason I found myself to be so fluid with the decision to follow her is not just because I loved her with every fiber of my being, but it's because I have no real, established roots to call home. A university is just that. An institution for higher learning. Your path is where you need to be and his path...not in focus yet, so he has to be flexible and willing to go with the flow that you both had originally agreed upon.

I personally feel that the change of heart in his choice of schools is somewhat selfish and does not show the undying devotion required of a permanent thing.

My advice is to convince him (without criticizing him and accusing him) that his home is with you, regardless of where it may be. If he can understand this, then he can just as easily make a home in any state or country that you are. He's spent plenty of time in the Corps to know that life is always changing and in need of location changes. You are there, and so he needs to be too.

Stay the course, and change his mind. Do not become emotional or angry with him when you talk about it though, as you need to avoid any talk of possible splits. I hope this helps.

Mikey Mike

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