Monday, June 20, 2011

Pregnant

I'm not technically pregnant, did you think I was? That would be quite difficult with me here and Mister somewhere else. I have been having quite a few dreams lately though of me being pregnant. I couldn't quite understand why I was having these dreams so I went to Facebook to ask my friends first, and then I went to Google to check accuracy.

According to Dream Moods...

"To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. Being pregnant in your dream may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal. Alternatively, if you are trying to get pregnant, then the dream may be a wish fulfillment. If you are not trying to get pregnant, but dream that you are, then it symbolizes fear of new responsibilities."

This nailed it. To a T {or is it tee? - who knows}. There has been so much going on in my life recently that I haven't been posting about. I've tried. About a million times. Problem is, I get a paragraph into the post and then nothing else seems to want to come out. Words just aren't there and nothing seems to really be appropriate for me to write or hold the topic to the standard it should be placed.

Where to begin...

1. My grandpa is entering hospice care early next week. It's hard knowing that one day we're going to get a call that he's passed. The only thing that really comforts me during this time is knowing that soon he'll be able to do things we all take forgranted: breathing, walking, and running. My pa has lived with emphasima for as long as I can remember. He was born with a missing gene that affects the lining of his longs. I can't honestly tell you the last time I saw him without an oxygen tank or without gasping for air from only a few steps. It breaks my heart, but I know that soon he'll be in Heaven rejoicing with his family.

2. My dad had surgery yesterday. He ripped the ligament in his elbow right off the bone and it recoiled up to his shoulder. That his horrble imagery I probably just put in all of your minds. Sorry! His surgery went well though and now he is trying to recover. He might be out of work for four months, which I'm hoping is not the case. Financially, my family just can't do that. I truly do believe that his injury was for a reason. He was suppose to attend a mission trip to Jamaca in a couple of weeks to a very bad location. God is looking out for him and you just never know what could have happened. Also, with my grandpa in hospice, it's best for my dad to be home incase he passes.

3. I bought a plane ticket to see Mister. I'm so excited to go out there. I won't go into details, but we need this. I need this. I miss him so much that I could just cry. It's weird, I dealt with the distance so much better when he was in Japan. Maybe it's because when he was there I knew it wasn't possible for me to visit him. Neither of us could afford a $2000 plane ticket alone. Now, I can afford the ticket to California, the problem is, with him deploying soon, we can't seem to figure out a time to get me out there during all of his training. I'm trying to be positive, but goodness it's annoying.  We're both literally crossing our fingers that I will be able to fly out there in the next couple of weeks and that nothing will come up and that my ticket doesn't go to waste.


1 comments:

Kaylee said...

I am so sorry about your grandpa. I am praying that things work out for him. Have fun on your trip to see your mister!

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