Friday, July 22, 2011

Looming D.

I probably shouldn't be writing when I'm this tired, but here I am writing anyways. This is a recipe for disaster. I've realized nights are when I'm most emotional so typing right now is probably a no, no. But here I am, typing away!

Mister is currently training for his deployment and I don't have much access to talk to him. It's making me realize how hard this stupid deployment is going to be. There's no way to prepare for them, but little tastes of it scares the crap out of me. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I'm strong enough. If I'll be able to cope with not talking to him. I remind myself though that if God brought me to this, he'll pull me through to the very end. So, I move forward and suck it up - just like all the other men and women out there whose loved one is deployed.

It's so weird how the time has passed. It seems like just a little bit ago Mister came over to the states to be stationed in California. It's already been almost eight months and the day he leaves US soil again is coming up closer each day. I get emails all the time asking me how to deal with a deployment. It's so easy to tell a person to stay busy, write a lot and maintain personal goals. Going through the process yourself is a whole different story. It's scary, stressful and emotional.

Having been through three deployments already, you think one would become a pro at it. Simple truth: they don't get easier. Not to mention every one I've been through have been month long deployments, not seven or eight. I've been blessed on those short deployments to be able to talk to him every couple days, if not every day, at least through email. Therefore, this one is going to be brutal. I can already feel it creeping up one me. I know soon its going to be tapping on my shoulder and then I'm going to face the big bad D in its face. Oh how much joy that will be.

I guess it's just part of the military life that I have to get used to. At least until Mister gets out. Ahh that's another topic for another night.

2 comments:

Skinnie Piggie said...

Lady,
I am going through the EXACT same thing... if there is such a thing as night anxiety, I'm sure I've got it. This will be our first deployment (we've done long distance and 1.5mo of trainings)... and it's stressing me out and it's not even here yet. This is going to be rough, and my hubby wants to be a lifer.

David and Sarah said...

Girl I hear you, and the good news is that we're all here for you! :) It's definitely no easy feat, but you're right, staying busy and taking on new hobbies helps A LOT. It makes the time zoom by. Although, there are also moments that are so slow you think you're going to lose it! There are times when my Hubby and I talk and I get mad because it's been so long since he called, when really, we had just talked the day before.

Nights are definitely the worst part of it (or the more emotional), and I don't know if this will help you, but I always go to sleep to a movie. I'm a big fan of musicals and old movies, so I'll watch Singing in the Rain and Daddy Long Legs.. happy movies to go to sleep to. Also, for those nights when you can't shut off your brain, take some Magnesium! You can research it if you'd like.

Stay busy and even if you don't feel like going out that day or being around those friends, do it anyway. It will help. You will definitely learn in the coming months who to and who not to talk to about certain things. That doesn't mean those around you don't have your best interests at heart, but it's hard to sympathize if you haven't gone through this. Getting involved with the other military wives and girlfriends will help not only for you to have someone to go to, but to keep updated with what's going on with the boys during deployment.

There is no way to plan for this, never is. And it does creep up, but my advice is to not think about it. I KNOW it's so much easier said than done, but if you enjoy the time and don't count down the days until he leaves, you will both be happier and less stressed! Another helpful hint that I didn't ever think about until my Sister shared it with me, talk about it before he goes. Each of you make a list and let the other know what things you want to hear, what would make you angry to hear, what things would just drive you mad, and what things would be encouraging for the other. Also, have a list going of things you want to tell him about so you don't forget and go blank when he calls. Communication, or lack thereof on our part, is the hardest part of it all. But if you know how to communicate through the distance, it will strengthen both of you and your relationship!

I'm sorry for the novel, I'm just about done with this deployment and so I've been looking back and seeing what went well and what could have been better! I'll be praying for both of you and I'm here if you need anything! :) You are strong and you can handle this!

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