I probably shouldn't be writing when I'm this tired, but here I am writing anyways. This is a recipe for disaster. I've realized nights are when I'm most emotional so typing right now is probably a no, no. But here I am, typing away!
Mister is currently training for his deployment and I don't have much access to talk to him. It's making me realize how hard this stupid deployment is going to be. There's no way to prepare for them, but little tastes of it scares the crap out of me. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I'm strong enough. If I'll be able to cope with not talking to him. I remind myself though that if God brought me to this, he'll pull me through to the very end. So, I move forward and suck it up - just like all the other men and women out there whose loved one is deployed.
It's so weird how the time has passed. It seems like just a little bit ago Mister came over to the states to be stationed in California. It's already been almost eight months and the day he leaves US soil again is coming up closer each day. I get emails all the time asking me how to deal with a deployment. It's so easy to tell a person to stay busy, write a lot and maintain personal goals. Going through the process yourself is a whole different story. It's scary, stressful and emotional.
Having been through three deployments already, you think one would become a pro at it. Simple truth: they don't get easier. Not to mention every one I've been through have been month long deployments, not seven or eight. I've been blessed on those short deployments to be able to talk to him every couple days, if not every day, at least through email. Therefore, this one is going to be brutal. I can already feel it creeping up one me. I know soon its going to be tapping on my shoulder and then I'm going to face the big bad D in its face. Oh how much joy that will be.
I guess it's just part of the military life that I have to get used to. At least until Mister gets out. Ahh that's another topic for another night.
4 days ago