Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Losing It

I completely lost it today. Lost it mentally and lost it emotionally on my husband. Financially things have been really difficult since my husband got out of the military. We barely paid our bills last month and this month we are very behind. I am praying with every fiber in my body that we will somehow make it. I knew in my gut things were bad. I kept trying to figure out where our money was going and why we were at the place we were. Truth is, there were bills that were automatically being taken out that we forgot about when budgeting and then it's been slow at work for Mister so his paychecks have been cut in half.

We need $1000.00 in two weeks. 

I put some things up on Craigslist tonight and will continue to go through things to see what we can get rid of. I also thought of donating plasma and will have to figure out the best way to do that since all the locations are about an hour away. 

I just cannot believe we are at this point. I never thought we'd be here. 

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Figuring It Out: Life After the Military

I can't believe that it has been almost two years now since my last blog post. I wasn't sure whether or not that I would ever come back to my blog. I have missed my getaway, my escape from reality which is why I am back. Truth is, this blog is more real than anything that I've done. In the past two years, my husband came home safely from his seven month deployment and a few months later he came home for good. That is unless they call him back from inactive reserves. 
The first few months were odd having him here - in a good and weirdly difficult way. He was trying to adjust to civilian life while also adjusting to living with me and me with him. We went from spending max two months out of three years together and then just like that he was home. It was amazing, but also left me with some separation issues. Even to this day, if he is going to be away for a night, I bawl. How I can go three years apart to one night away and my world is ending is beyond me. For some reason even one night feels like he is leaving to go back. Worst feeling in the world.
After almost a year from when he came home and we moved into our first home together. We had been living with my parents which had its pros and cons. I miss the free rent, but the space was much needed. We love our new home. Once in a while we will look around and one of us will say, "I love our little family. I love our home." If we took anything away from the military it was appreciation. Appreciation for each other, for time, and for what's really important. 
And so here we are. Living in our home still trying to figure life out. Trying to adjust to our life now, but the military is always in the back of our minds. If things get more difficult financially, he'll go back. If he can't find a stable job, he'll go back.  If __________, he'll go back. 

Still trying to figure it out.
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